Becoming Jesse's Father (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 5) Read online

  After they'd finished arranging toys, and while Emily stood contemplating the joy she'd see on Jesse's face when he saw them, Adam came up behind her, and resting his hands on her shoulders, looked over her head, and said, "Next Christmas we'll get him more." Moving his hands down her arms, he kissed the side of her neck, then with the tip of his tongue, began tracing the swirls inside her ear, sending tingles rushing through her while drawing from her a little moan of pleasure. Raising her hands, she clasped them behind Adam's neck and rested her head back against his shoulder. Adam's palms came up to cup her breasts, and as he gently caressed, he said, "Are you sure you're okay with this, Em?"

  Emily nodded. "It's what I've wanted from the moment I saw you again."

  Adam turned her around to face him. "And the rest? I know you have bad memories, and I'm okay with stopping short."

  "I'm not," Emily said. "It's different with you. It always was. Just love me the way you did before." She could feel his hot breath on her chest as the shirt began to fall open, and she was becoming anxious to get rid of the clothes.

  After they'd settled on the bearskin rug, Adam propped one leg up to stabilize himself, and in the lamplight flickering against him Emily saw the length of his muscular male body, the sight of it like an aphrodisiac. Hot tears of longing burned her eyes, and a fiery ache throbbed in her loins. Running her hand over his chest and down his belly, she followed the path of a thin line of dark hair and began exploring and teasing, and as she did, his breath grew heavy. Then Adam placed his hand over hers to stop what she was doing, and said, "This isn't about me, Em. It's about you." Bending over her he began dragging the tip of his tongue down her body, making patterns that sent tingles radiating as he made a meandering path downward.

  Emily let out a little moan of pleasure. "I didn't know I could feel this way again," she said, breathlessly, as Adam made his way down until the low deep ache demanded fulfillment. "Adam, that's enough," she said in a raspy voice. "I'm ready."

  Adam kissed the hollow of her throat, and the curve of her chin, and the corners of her mouth, and when he hovered over her, she welcomed him, and in one slow movement, he joined his body with hers, their movements building in intensity, until together they found the ultimate fulfillment. When her breathing finally became steady again, and her heart rate settled, Emily cuddled against him, and with her legs entwined with his, and her arms around him, she said, "Over the years I tried to remember how it was with us, but my memory didn't come close. Thank you for making me feel alive again."

  Adam drew her against him, and said, "You have no idea how important it is to me, Em, and in a very selfish way I'm glad you felt nothing with Erik."

  Emily touched her fingers to Adam's lips. "No Erik."

  For a few minutes Emily lay quietly in Adam's arms, while soaking up the feeling of being loved. And she knew Adam loved her. He didn't have to tell her. It had always been that way. But she never understood it, even when they were engaged she didn't understand what it was about her he could love.

  Tipping her face up so she could look at him, she said, "Why have you stayed by me over the years, even after what I did to you?"

  Adam kissed her on the forehead. "Because you're someone worth loving."

  "That's what I don't understand," Emily said. "I was a girl from a messed up family who was in and out of a relationship with a guy you hated, and every time I was with you, it was always about me."

  "No, honey, it wasn't about you," Adam said. "It was about a lost soul trying to find itself. But I saw in that lost soul a girl who was determined to rise above it all in spite of her circumstances, who was trapped in a relationship because she loved unconditionally, and who had an amazing talent for acting yet never used it to be something she wasn't. She also had a warm trusting heart that made her vulnerable, and made me want to protect her."

  Emily cuddled against him, gave a contented little sigh, and said, "I love you."

  Adam kissed her and said, "I love you too, honey. And we'd better get to sleep now because Santa will be here before we know it." Snatching up their clothes, they crept into the bedroom and crawled under the quilts, and curling together in their warm cocoon, drifted off.

  Sometime during the night, Emily awakened to the sound of something, an eerie far off sound, like a scream. But the cabin was quiet, and she heard the soft burrs of Adam sleeping beside her, and the night was still young, so she rested her head in the hollow of Adam’s shoulder and placed her hand across his chest and decided it had just been a dream.

  CHAPTER 10

  Adam awakened the following morning with Emily's warm naked body cuddled against him and her arm draped over him. His reaction was immediate and evident. Glancing at Jesse who was curled in a little ball under the quilt, he wondered if they dare carry through what was foremost on his mind and decided against it. If Jesse woke up to find Daddy humping over Mommy, and Mommy making all the sweet little sounds she made when they were making love, it would be hard to explain, even to a toddler. But when he started to get up, Emily tightened her arm around him and said, "Jesse sleeps very soundly. We could be discrete."

  Adam turned his head on the pillow, and smiled. "So you're awake."

  Emily smiled back. "Yes, and I don't have to make any noises. That's only because it seems to heighten things."

  "You read my mind," Adam said.

  "About wanting to make love?"

  "No, about all those sweet little noises you make when we do. Are you sure it's okay now? What if Jesse wakes up?"

  "We'll still be under several layers of quilts, and we can be fast. All you'll have to do is activate a couple of spots and I'll be done."

  "A couple of spots?" Adam asked.

  "Well three." Taking his hand, she said, "Here, here, and here."

  Adam took over from there. Then everything happened fast, ending with a coupling that came with an urgency, and a sudden and final explosion that hit them both at the same time. And Adam vowed that when they made love before going to bed that night, he'd take at least an hour to do what had just taken less than a minute.

  After things had settled some, Emily snuggled against him and said, in a dreamy voice, "That was very quick. Are you really satisfied?"

  Adam grinned. "Yeah. And you?"

  "I'm satisfied, but I want to take longer next time. I love the things you do."

  "So do I," Adam said. "I'd start all over right now but I think it's time for Santa to get out of bed so Mrs. Santa can put herself together before our little elf catches his parents with very red faces." He threw the quilts back and stood, displaying the full length of his muscular naked body before pulling on his briefs and jeans. And Emily stretched, then grabbed her new fuzzy blue robe and shrugged into it and followed Adam into the living room.

  Knowing Jesse would sleep for another hour, she said to Adam, "Would it be possible for me to take a bath? I'm not so... umm... fresh after all our lovemaking."

  Adam smiled. "Yeah, I'll get the tub ready. The water in the boiler should still be warm from last night if we don't add any cold water."

  As Adam rolled back the bearskin rug, the image of what took place on it only a few hours before was still fresh, but when he went to prepare Emily's bath a whole new image began to emerge, one of soaping every inch of her beautiful body. But before getting into the water, Emily closed the door to the bedroom, then walked over to the tub, dropped the robe on the floor beside it and climbed in. Settling against the sloped back, she said to Adam, "I don't have a rubber ducky but will you still bathe me?"

  "I tell you what," Adam said. "If I straddle the tub you can play with my ducky and we can bathe each other."

  "Are you serious?" Emily asked, eyes wide.

  "No, Em, I'm not serious," Adam replied, "at least not at the moment. But maybe another time. It would bring a whole new meaning to bath time with duckies."

  That brought another beautiful smile from Emily to warm his heart.

  Crouching beside the tub, he reache
d into the water for the washcloth and dragged it across Emily's chest, making a figure eight around her breasts, then soaped the cloth and ran it over the arm she'd extended, and up to her shoulder, and down across her chest, then dipped it again and soaped it and continued his slow, sensual ministrations. But after he'd covered all the parts that were exposed to his view, he dropped the washcloth in the water, bent over the tub and kissed her long and lingeringly while he moved his hand down Emily's leg and found the place that awakened her once more, and brought her to fulfillment.

  After she'd caught her breath and settled back against the tub once again, she looked at him with eyes holding the afterglow of passion, and said, "I didn't expect that to happen, at least not so soon. It's good to feel again."

  Adam kissed her lightly, and replied, "Making you feel is like having a gun with a hair trigger. All I have to do is touch those three spots and off you go."

  Emily laughed, but then her face sobered, and she said, "You do know I'm not faking anything, don't you?"

  Adam grinned. "Honey, you were an exceptional actress in high school but not good enough to fake what happens when you climax. I take full credit for that. And you'd better get yourself dried and dressed while I go feed the horses. Then we'll get our little elf up and let him see what Santa is really all about, which isn't about getting horny with Mrs. Santa."

  By the time Adam returned from taking care of the horses, Emily was dressed and had instant oatmeal with chopped dried fruit, sitting in a small pot on the stove, bread toasting on the flat iron top of the cook stove, and a pot of coffee brewed. "This is the best I can do," she said.

  Adam walked over to the stove and lifted the lid to the pot and looked inside, and said, "Looks good to me. Are you still against going back to the ranch for Christmas dinner?"

  "I'll go if you want me to, but I really don't want to," Emily said. "Jesse and I will be fine for a few hours, playing with Jesse's toys, and if you don't eat too much I'll have another little dinner for us here. It will be Jesse's first Christmas dinner with us. I think that would mean a lot more to him than sitting at a table with everyone staring at him. He's just not used to crowds."

  Adam gave her a kiss, and said, "I'm worried about leaving you two here alone, but if you promise to keep the shotgun handy I'll get back as soon as I can. So, are we ready for Jesse?"

  "Yes," Emily said. "I can hardly wait to see the expression on his face when he sees all the toys. But first we need to do potty and get him dressed. Do you want to do the honors?"

  "I don't know how to do potty," Adam said.

  "If I'm not mistaken you've been doing potty since you were two. Just make sure he aims at the potty, which can be a challenge because if he looks around his little ducky goes with him."

  "Spraying the walls?" Adam asked.

  "And you and whatever's in the line of fire."

  Adam laughed and headed for the bedroom. To his surprise, he found Jesse sitting up on his makeshift bed, a knotted fist grinding his eye.

  "Hey buddy," Adam said. "You ready to go potty and get dressed?"

  Jesse looked up at Adam, and said, "Daddy potty?"

  "Umm, no, I'm not doing potty, but Mommy sent me in to help you." Adam looked around, and spotting an old dented kitchen pot he assumed was the potty, he carried it to where Jesse sat and said, "How do we do this?" Jesse looked up at him with wide eyes and a frown on his brow.

  "Does that mean you don't know, or you know I don't know?"

  "Honey," Emily said to Jesse from the hallway, "Daddy's going to help you. Show him what a big boy you are and pull down your jammies."

  Rolling onto his hip, Jesse stood, and yanking down is pajamas, shoved his little hips out.

  And in an instant Adam saw what was happening and shoved the pot in front of him just in time to catch the spray. "He's got pretty good aim," Adam said, while looking with amusement at Jesse, whose face was serious.

  "Is that also a Hansen trait?" Emily asked.

  "No, a Hansen mandate," Adam replied. "Mom taught all six of us that if we missed the pot we'd be on bathroom duty indefinitely. I've scrubbed my share of floors around the toilet and I'm completely potty trained. My ducky has good aim now."

  "Daddy ducky?" Jesse asked.

  "Go ahead, try to explain that one," Emily said, while looking on in amusement.

  Adam gave her a half smile and said to Jesse, "Daddy's being silly. Duckies are for the tub and potties are for peeing." He handed the pot to Emily, who went to dump it outside, then said to Jesse, "Let's get you dressed so you can see what Santa brought?"

  Jesse looked a little puzzled, and Adam realized the notion of Santa hadn't yet connected, but in a few minutes it would. After dressing Jesse, Adam took his little hand, led him into the living room and nudged him over to stand in front of the tree, then stood back and waited to see his eyes light up in wonder. Instead, Jesse stood staring at the toys for an inordinate amount of time, then stepping back, he put his knuckle to his mouth, tears filled his eyes, and he started crying, great silent soulful sobs until tears ran down his face.

  Emily crouched and picked him up, and said, "Honey, what's wrong?" Jesse turned his face from the sight of the toys and buried it in Emily's shoulder. Emily carried him over to the couch and sat with him.

  Adam sat beside her, and said, "Here, let me have him."

  Emily passed him over to Adam, who settled him on his lap, then bent down, and said, "Jesse, everything under the tree is for you. No one will take anything away from you and you can play with your toys any time you want and even take them to bed. Come on, I'll sit with you and we'll see what Santa brought." Jesse looked askance at the toys, but made no move to leave Adam's lap, so Adam lifted Jesse in his arms and walked him over to the tree.

  Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Adam settled Jesse in his lap, then reaching for the cowboy boots, he said, while pulling one onto Jesse's foot, "Now you'll be a cowboy like Daddy, okay?" He bent down, and when he saw Jesse smile, he reached for the other boot and put it on Jess's foot. Grabbing the teddy bear, he took Jesse's hand and wrapped it around the bear's paw and squeezed, and in an instant a voice came from inside the bear, singing, Silent Night.

  "He's for you to take to bed at night," Adam said. "You can name him too if you want. He's yours to keep, just like you're mine to keep. Now, let's see what else Santa brought."

  As Adam continued showing Jesse the toys, gradually Jesse became interested in them, and involved, and before long he and Adam were stacking alphabet blocks, and connecting the wooden track for the train to run along, and running the dump truck into the kitchen for Mommy to fill with raisins, then back to building blocks, which Jesse began stacking by himself.

  Adam, sitting on the floor with his back against the couch, one knee cocked with his hand draping over it, watched Jesse pushing his train along its wooden track. Then he looked into the kitchen where Emily was arranging a canned ham, complete with pineapple rings on it, for the dinner they'd be having when he returned from the ranch. He couldn't imagine life without either of these people, who less than two weeks before had not even been a part of his life. And yet, a dark cloud hung over them that neither he nor Emily wanted to talk about or think about, but ignoring it wouldn't make it go away. But tomorrow they'd formulate a plan, because staying at the cabin was becoming riskier with each passing day.

  Realizing it was time to head for the ranch, he went into the kitchen and said to Emily, "Honey, I have to go, but I'll be back as soon as I can get away. Keep the door locked and the shotgun on the mantel." He kissed her, then lifted Jesse in his arms and kissed him too, and left.

  Just short of an hour later, he arrived at the ranch to find the family gathered in the living room, and his mother and Maddy busy in the kitchen. It was odd being with them now because he felt like he'd left his real family behind.

  He wondered if Marc was with family somewhere, or if he was spending Christmas alone, or maybe with a girlfriend, or a wife. It seemed the more
time that went by, the more he thought about Marc, and wondered where he was. But for today, he'd talk and joke with his siblings, and tease Maddy about getting too pretty, and commend his mother for the wonderful dinner and his father for footing the bill for the mounds of wrapped gifts under the tree, and be thankful for them all. But his heart was still at the cabin.

  Looking around the room, he said to his mother, when she stepped into the dining room to place a turkey in the middle of the table, "Where's Dad?"

  "Just outside," Grace replied. "He should be here in a few minutes. He went to see how things were going with the guests at the lodge, but on his way back here, I saw Bruce Mitchell drive up, and they've been talking ever since. It must be something important because I know the Mitchell's have a lot of family at Christmas, and Bruce and Dad both look concerned. But whatever it is will have to wait until after we're finished with our Christmas." She turned to Maddy, and said, "Honey, please go get Daddy and tell him dinner's ready."

  Maddy skittered off, and a few minutes later, Jack returned, a grim look on his face.

  Grace, eyeing him with concern, said, "Honey, is something wrong?"

  Jack looked at her and his expression immediately changed to a feigned smile, and he said, "Nothing that can't wait until after dinner and opening gifts."

  But Adam knew something was very wrong, and it had to do with him or Emily, because his father's eyes kept shifting to him, then to the others in the room, as if he needed something to take his mind off whatever it was, then returning to him. Adam also noticed he was very quiet. No joking with the boys. No smiling at their mother. No praising Maddy. He just sat at the end of the table eating, and eyeing Adam with a very worried look on his face.

  It wasn't until after the family had opened the gifts, and his mother was in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes, that Adam said to his father, "I need to get back to the cabin. I'm uneasy about leaving Emily and Jesse alone up there."

  Jack took Adam by the arm, and in a hushed voice, said to him, "You need to tell the others good bye and we need to talk outside."